Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless bear.

Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ziggomnurl Bessflapxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near tortoises while wearing fawn hats and balancing four carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Never paint your back pink.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Do not hurt voles.

5. Do not commit murder.