Nulwanflis is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, astonishing crocodile.

Nulwanflis created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulwanflis, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nulwanflis, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nulwanflis' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nulwanflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Erect three copper sculptures of Nulwanflis on top of important buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.