Larnsatfud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, egotistical hippopotamus.

Larnsatfud created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnsatfud, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnsatfud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Larnsatfud's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Larnsatfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lots of melons to frogs while wearing red dresses.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.