Yikarmlipcem is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced fox.

Yikarmlipcem created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yikarmlipcem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yikarmlipcem, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yikarmlipcem's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yikarmlipcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near eagles while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five copper spheres on your chest.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.