Tagmiscut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish seal.

Tagmiscut created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Tagmiscut, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tagmiscut, she will turn you into a rat.

Tagmiscut's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tagmiscut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Run away from pink dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Tagmiscut's priests.

5. You must pray to Tagmiscut five times a day.