Linstigbesttom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring lion.

Linstigbesttom created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linstigbesttom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Linstigbesttom, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Linstigbesttom's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Linstigbesttom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Linstigbesttom on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.