Zignablap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witty pig.

Zignablap created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zignablap, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zignablap, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zignablap's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Zignablap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never feed lots of oranges to shrews while wearing cyan dresses.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.