Yesslopfet is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unjust eagle.

Yesslopfet created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yesslopfet, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yesslopfet, he will turn you into a duck.

Yesslopfet's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yesslopfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.