Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited bird.

Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim, she will turn you into a slug.

Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bodladman Sablapbamdog Yarptombastjoptimhapxuckcim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if five seals approach from the east.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling space in blue.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never feed lots of figs to pigs while wearing red tights.