Habontmap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional mouse.

Habontmap created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Habontmap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Habontmap, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Habontmap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Habontmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.