Bemstafnil is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet owl.

Bemstafnil created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemstafnil, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bemstafnil, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bemstafnil's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bemstafnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Bemstafnil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always look after injured cats.

4. Bemstafnil loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Pray towards the north.