Zanfatsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome squid.

Zanfatsaw created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanfatsaw, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zanfatsaw, he will throw large rocks at you.

Zanfatsaw's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Zanfatsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Put Zanfatsaw first in all things.

4. Learn seven new languages a year .

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling space in purple.