Tadpodveen is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody octopus.

Tadpodveen created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Tadpodveen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tadpodveen, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tadpodveen's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tadpodveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near tapirs while wearing cyan rings and balancing four titanium spheres on your back.

3. Never laugh near birds.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.