Cebshavdan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, all-knowing human.

Cebshavdan created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Cebshavdan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cebshavdan, he will turn you into a rock.

Cebshavdan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cebshavdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Never feed bananas to pigs while wearing black dresses.

4. Hide if nine snails approach from the south.

5. Cebshavdan must be the most important thing in your life.