Zagspagfut is a god.

He takes the form of a large, almighty badger.

Zagspagfut created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagspagfut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagspagfut, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zagspagfut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Zagspagfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not keep nine geese in a large pit.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.