Yartfenmeg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, confident centipede.

Yartfenmeg created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartfenmeg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yartfenmeg, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yartfenmeg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yartfenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Never feed gooseberries to otters while wearing stockings.

4. Erect four lead sculptures of Yartfenmeg on top of important buildings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.