Tifquagmin Volbosstonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, amazing naga.

Tifquagmin Volbosstonk created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifquagmin Volbosstonk, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tifquagmin Volbosstonk, he will turn you into a rat.

Tifquagmin Volbosstonk's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tifquagmin Volbosstonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt badgers.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. You must pray to Tifquagmin Volbosstonk six times a day.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.