Flamhubgess is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, slow cat.

Flamhubgess created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Flamhubgess, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flamhubgess, he will turn you into a slug.

Flamhubgess' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Flamhubgess' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Flamhubgess loves doves, so they must be honoured.