Somlogtom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, awesome zebra.

Somlogtom created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Somlogtom, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somlogtom, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Somlogtom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Somlogtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Somlogtom loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help porpoises.