Matmifpag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, happy jaguar.

Matmifpag created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matmifpag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Matmifpag, it will remove you from existence.

Matmifpag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Matmifpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three seals in a large pit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Run away if seven swans approach from the south.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to ants while wearing pink trousers.