Jiggonominfigxen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, smart manatee.

Jiggonominfigxen created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiggonominfigxen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jiggonominfigxen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jiggonominfigxen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jiggonominfigxen's Holy Commandments

1. Jiggonominfigxen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Jiggonominfigxen on top of all buildings.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing yellow hats and balancing four aluminium spheres on your head.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.