Flatfebjen Bastarpbad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unfair beaver.

Flatfebjen Bastarpbad created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Flatfebjen Bastarpbad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flatfebjen Bastarpbad, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flatfebjen Bastarpbad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flatfebjen Bastarpbad's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help grasshopers.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.