Vigstigrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking monkey.

Vigstigrutt created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vigstigrutt, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vigstigrutt, it will come to you in dreams.

Vigstigrutt's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vigstigrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Never wear boots.