Sakcarkem is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, duplicitous spider.

Sakcarkem created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakcarkem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sakcarkem, she will come to you in dreams.

Sakcarkem's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Sakcarkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Run away if nine mites approach from the east.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. You must never eat lentils.