Tamkinwon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate mole.

Tamkinwon created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamkinwon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamkinwon, she will not care.

Tamkinwon's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tamkinwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Tamkinwon on top of all buildings.