Flisappfen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent guinea pig.

Flisappfen created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flisappfen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flisappfen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Flisappfen's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Flisappfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not keep four eagles in a large pit.

4. You must never eat figs.

5. Flisappfen loves horses, so they must be honoured.