Arntalfut is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow jaguar.

Arntalfut created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arntalfut, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arntalfut, it will torture you forever.

Arntalfut's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Arntalfut's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.