Damkenrull Cudguppib is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, blissful clam.

Damkenrull Cudguppib created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Damkenrull Cudguppib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Damkenrull Cudguppib, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Damkenrull Cudguppib's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Damkenrull Cudguppib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.