Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, capable faun.

Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod, it will not invite you to parties.

Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Hintinwik Pinstantit Quimbod in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help swans in need.