Cubkopflat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless walrus.

Cubkopflat created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubkopflat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cubkopflat, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cubkopflat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cubkopflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cubkopflat.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.