Yakkinwit Teenbag is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, astonishing deer.

Yakkinwit Teenbag created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakkinwit Teenbag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yakkinwit Teenbag, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yakkinwit Teenbag's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yakkinwit Teenbag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear white shoes.

5. Never eat green fruit.