Dap is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, wise cow.

Dap created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dap, it will turn you into a sheep.

Dap's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dap seven times a day.

2. Do not keep six birds in a large pit.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat bark.