Pasgilyak is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unjust skunk.

Pasgilyak created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasgilyak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pasgilyak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pasgilyak's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Pasgilyak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about dark matter near badgers while wearing violet coats.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.