Onthivdim is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental gnu.

Onthivdim created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Onthivdim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Onthivdim, she will refuse to believe in you.

Onthivdim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Onthivdim's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.