Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, pitiless lizard.

Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Cimappduss Tonkquartzakdam loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must never eat lemons.