Dibsitxuck is a god.
He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless
ferret.
Dibsitxuck created carbon twelve years ago.
If you believe in
Dibsitxuck, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in
Dibsitxuck, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.
Dibsitxuck's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.
Dibsitxuck's Holy Commandments1. Never talk about dark energy.
2. Pray towards the west.
3. Do not trade with those who eat corn.
4. Always help aardvarks in need.
5. Always wear green.