Camlabzednad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unselfish rat.

Camlabzednad created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Camlabzednad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Camlabzednad, she will turn you into a duck.

Camlabzednad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Camlabzednad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Camlabzednad.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the east.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.