Cimkikhan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish elephant.

Cimkikhan created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimkikhan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cimkikhan, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cimkikhan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Cimkikhan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.