Cannigvon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional hyena.

Cannigvon created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cannigvon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cannigvon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cannigvon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cannigvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must pray to Cannigvon three times a day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.