Arplapman is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, quiet sheep.

Arplapman created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arplapman, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arplapman, it will turn you into a rat.

Arplapman's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Arplapman's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think ill of sick whales.

5. Do not take Arplapman's name in vain.