Bestmegtik is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, boastful tapir.

Bestmegtik created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bestmegtik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestmegtik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bestmegtik's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bestmegtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Learn five new languages a year .

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about black holes.