Garbabhithotkap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, awesome unicorn.

Garbabhithotkap created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garbabhithotkap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Garbabhithotkap, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Garbabhithotkap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Garbabhithotkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chromosomes.

2. Never feed parsnips to hamsters while wearing trousers.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Garbabhithotkap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.