Lapbepgab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonest pigeon.

Lapbepgab created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbepgab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lapbepgab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Lapbepgab's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lapbepgab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling space in white.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Hide from black badgers for they are unholy.