Zakvinarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, proud jackal.

Zakvinarp created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Zakvinarp, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zakvinarp, it will turn you into a rat.

Zakvinarp's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Zakvinarp's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not take Zakvinarp's name in vain.

4. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Zakvinarp on top of important buildings.