Bafgovcar is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless gerbil.

Bafgovcar created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Bafgovcar, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bafgovcar, he will turn you into a duck.

Bafgovcar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bafgovcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bafgovcar's name in vain.

2. You must love Bafgovcar.

3. Hide from indigo tapirs for they are unholy.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Retreat if five snails approach from the north.