Mapced is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthinking weasel.

Mapced created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapced, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mapced, he will turn you into a hamster.

Mapced's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Mapced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Hide if eight birds approach from the west.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling space.

5. Never paint your head magenta.