Hatpopnad is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured snake.

Hatpopnad created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatpopnad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hatpopnad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hatpopnad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hatpopnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured swans.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about fire.