Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring guinea pig.

Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn, she will ignore you.

Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. You must love Wangumtargdumlooparfkapbarn.

5. Never play with disobedient children.