Dimfetwik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust troll.

Dimfetwik created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfetwik, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dimfetwik, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Dimfetwik's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Dimfetwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never leap near tortoises.

4. Never paint your arms mauve.

5. Hide from red hamsters for they are unholy.