Nangunlin is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, stupid aardvark.

Nangunlin created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nangunlin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nangunlin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nangunlin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nangunlin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Nangunlin's name in vain.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Nangunlin loves otters, so they must be respected.